Holy Birdshot Batman!

So, after the toilet bowl wax, after the chapel dog poop and I think even after the bat, there was a starling...

One Friday I arrived to do my usual cleaning only to discover a starling flying around the Church. This has happened before, but usually by the time I arrive, they are somewhat hungry, disoriented and exhausted. Hence they stay low and are eager to be 'herded' towards a door. Not this guy! He decided to stay way up high in the spotlight cans, on the fancy lights, over the adoration chapel glass, and mostly - on the horizontal arm of the crucifix. That was the final straw! Not to mention he was leaving green calling cards on the upholstery, the sanctuary, and other places he should definitely not! (Fortunately, nothing on the tabernacle!)

After spending much too much time trying to humanely usher him out (which wasn't working) I decided to call 16 year-old-boy-with-airsoft-gun. He gladly came to the rescue. He managed to hit the birdbrain several times. Finally, the bird landed on top of the Mary statue, where 16 yo machismo brought him down with several direct hits. I covered him with a dustmop (what else?) and Larry reached under and grabbed him.

NO, we did not bash him over the head. YES, I did finally manage to find a tall enough ladder to reach the crucifix arm and clean off the poop.

The funniest thing of all is that our pastor OKd the purchase of an airsoft gun for just this sort of occurrence. I think he wants to get in on the action himself!